Day 44 - Hard day

Sometimes this army life hits you with a day like today and there is nothing you can say about it except it is hard.

Very hard.

Please pray for our troops tonight. Please pray for our families tonight.

Day 42/43 - Fun weekend!

I had a GREAT weekend! I really wish that M2 would have been able to enjoy it with me! I am blessed to have so many wonderful friends to share it with.

A group of my friends got together a Polar Plunge team to raise money for the Special Olympics. It was a lot of fun. We were lucky enough to be able to dress in the Army's new Multi Cam for the costume contest part of the Plunge! WE WON!!!

Here is a glance at the totally rocking outfits!

Just look at the hilarious facial expressions as we jumped! It was excruciatingly painful!

On the way home we helped a stranded motorcyclist! We 5 Army wives hoisted the broken down thing up into the back of the truck and got him to where he was going. Poor guy! Days like Saturday are what deployments are made out of! It's great to look back and even though you remember the sadness of separation you can also have some great memories to semi-make up for it!

After having such an eventful Saturday, the kids and I laid low and got the house back under control today! B came home forever ago with a project to decorate a bear. It's due tomorrow so we spent a lot of time today getting it done. True M2 style - last minute! I asked him awhile ago what he wanted his bear to be dressed up as and he said C3P0.

This is the best this Mommy could do!

That was our weekend in a nutshell! Thanks to all who donated to the Plunge! Thanks to all the girls that came. It was a truly GREAT day! Also, HUGE thanks to my wonderful, awesome babysitter! You ROCK!

Day 39/40/41 - Faith

I have been a slacker this past week with the blog. I have no idea who all reads this but apparently it is the highlight of M2's day. He's been anxious for me to get back on board!

I have been struggling these past three days with tons of emotions. I have cried more than I care to admit. Even though I wanted to crawl in bed and stay there I kept busy. Yet, there were times I would be standing in a crowded store and just have the urge to scream out, "Do you have any idea what's going on here?". It probably only makes sense to a few of you but there are times when it's easier to be angry with everyone else than to just allow yourself to feel pain.

With things up in the air for us right now I am also dealing with a faith issue. M2 told me there was a good, very good, chance he would be home soon. I am the type of person that never gets her hopes up - I believe the worse. We were communicating via a chat service and I saw him type the potential return date followed with how it was in God's control and not man's. I involuntarily laughed. I could see a calendar and I also know how long it took him to travel to where he is now. It's going to take a LOT to make that happen. So I laughed. Then I instantly thought of Sarah. She laughed when God told Abraham she would have a child. I think it was the same kind of laugh. A "it's going to take a lot more than what you can do" thought. I know that NOTHING is impossible with God. That knowledge does not overthrow my lack of faith sometimes. I went and read some more about Sarah and realized her faith issue was quite the same as mine. She lacked faith in God to protect her when Abraham and she traveled to Egypt. She went along with her husbands crazy plot to pretend they were siblings ending up in her being married to the Pharaoh. God protected her anyways and it all worked out. She could have learned there. But then she lacks faith that God will actually make Abraham the Father of all nations through her so she offers up her maidservant who bears him a son. Not the right son though because then you have God coming back to say no Sarah is going to actually carry the child and this is where you have the laughing at God because she was an old lady who was told she would conceive thing. God instantly corrected her. I love my translation because in it God asks her why she laughed and she denies it and He says, "Yes, you did laugh". Just calling her right out! This pretty much sums up all I know about Sarah. She dies like a chapter after God gives her Issac as a son. You know that feeling you get after a great movie ends and you are left REALLY wanting to know what happens next? That's how I feel here because later on in the Hebrew's faith chapter she's named. She developed faith. It definitely developed over time because we see that she struggles with it throughout her life.

I get annoyed with myself when I doubt that God is in control because I have ALL of this evidence that he is. Like Sarah, I have a past FULL of God being in control.

I am striving now to let all of these worries go and relax. Most of you who know me well or talk to me on a daily basis know that I say, "It is what it is" a lot! That's just it, it is what it is and I cannot change it. I just heard someone say, "If you can't change the situation the only thing you can change is your attitude towards it". So very true. My attitude has sucked. I am sorry to ALL of you who I have spoken to recently with this horrible attitude. I am working on changing it now! Working being the key word there ;)!

Also, working acknowledging that God's timing is perfect. M2 may come back when he said or it may be later. Either way, God hasn't failed me. He has a plan. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." His plan will be perfect.

I am blessed to have the support I have. I love you all. Please continue to pray for me during this time!

Day 36/37/38 - Lots of going!

I am behind on my days! The kiddos all got over their sicknesses so we have been going, going, going ever since!

Let me do some catch up!

Day 36 was pretty much the best deployment day, yet! The kids LET me sleep in. I got up and made them waffles for breakfast and set them up with some stuff to do and then went back to bed and finally caught up on some sleep! Then for the rest of the morning and afternoon I chose to have "mommy time" in my room. They were so great in letting that happen! Late that afternoon we attended our second Operation Faithful Support. More on that in a bit!

Day 37 the kids were out of school. Luckily for me we went to the gym early. The rest of the day the kids made up for being so well behaved the last few days. I think they thought they needed to restore the balance of good and evil! It was a trying day to say the least and it left me hating federal holidays were school is excused!!

Day 38 EL and I took a little trip to a friends for coffee this morning and then attended an FRG meeting tonight. It was GREAT to get to see everyone and reconnect with girls I haven't seen since the last one! Two pretty cool things came out of the meeting!

First, my friend finished this sign I ordered from her! Super creative girl! She even added Rucker and Bragg. You know that saying - "If you build it they will come"? Well I told her if she makes it we will go! Here is a link to her blog if any of my Army friends want to check her out!

http://peanutstitches.blogspot.com/2011/02/home-is-where-army-sends-us-signs-what.html

Secondly, we got these "Daddy Dolls" for free! They have a photo slot on the face where we can put Daddy's picture! The kids were excited and ran around the house saying, "I have a Daddy"! Too funny!

Now, back to day 36 and Operation Faithful Support. Every month we have a session with them and this months was titled "What if's verses What IS"! Most of Army wives can get caught up at some point in the "what if's". Even during "dwell" or non-deployment times. What IF my husband doesn't come home? What IF we don't get reimbursed? What IF my husband doesn't make the promotion list this go round? What IF my guy comes back mentally unstable? What IF the kids forget him? What IF he doesn't miss me? What IF the Army moves us to the middle of nowhere Alaska and I freeze to death? And just to keep it real because we do "What IF" this one as well - What IF he comes home and doesn't love me anymore? I consider myself a realist! M2 considers me "negative nelly"! I have a long list of "What if's" and I recite them religiously! He says we will be going to A next and I will think of the worst place and claim that is where we are going! My idea is that if I think the worse and the worse happens - I am so prepared. BUT if I think the best and the worse happens then life is going to suck! Meanwhile all this time I am consuming thinking the worse I am not living in the best of now! I LOVED this revelation! Just this past week, M2 told me he still has one more "gate" to get through to officially get in the program he is working toward. I was under the assumption we were all the way in! He says he told me all about this second "gate" but in reality he just said A&S a couple of times in a sentence. Acronyms are not the best way to pass on vital information to your spouse, FYI! A&S happens to stand for Accessions and Selections. Something he will have to attend - like a final audition. Automatically I went to "What IF you don't get it?"! "Why would you say that?" was the response from him! This A&S is like a year away still. So I can spend the next 12 months worrying an ulcer into my stomach over the "what if's" of the situation OR enjoy the time until then without worrying!

THANK YOU OPERATION FAITHFUL SUPPORT!

(At this point I know M2 is thinking, "WHAT? - they get credit when I have been telling you this for YEARS?"! I love you!)

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Day 35 - Night out on the town!

We were completely overcome with cabin fever today so we took Daddy for a night out on the town!

We went to our favorite little bookstore where everyone got a book!

Then to the ONLY pizza place around we eat at!

And lastly, to M2's favorite coffee shop for dessert and coffee!

Enjoy!

B reading to Daddy from the new Star Wars book he just bought at our FAVORITE bookstore!

Daddy and I hanging out in the pizza joint!

EL making Daddy talk to me. She's too cute!

Daddy eyeing the pizza! (Probably because I caved and let the kids get the pepperoni.)

E sharing her dessert from the coffee shop with Daddy!

EL acting crazy with Daddy!

Daddy drinking his favorite coffee! (Shh ... it's not decaf)

And best of all ... when the night was all done and I was leaning in the car to buckle my precious cargo ... I saw this reflection in the car window and forgot I was holding Daddy. I screamed like it was the opening scene of an SVU episode!

Here's to a WONDERFUL night out with my kids!

Day 34 - Being Daddy

First off, my blog decided to rearrange itself on its own. That's exactly why I do not like computers, they always end up to be smarter than me! Bare with me as I try to figure this thing out!

On to today's post! I am so proud of myself. I took out some time to be "Daddy" to my son. I think it did wonders. Before this deployment he was my calm child. The one we never had problems out of. So he has been the surprise difficult child since Daddy left.

I think I failed to post that before he got sick I was at the mall with a friend and after walking around for over an hour he sat down and licked the bottom of his shoe. My friend and I joked at the time about how sick he was going to get. It's not funny anymore. Once a few years ago on a New Year's Eve he sat down on the commissary floor and licked the floor. He got an awful bacterial thing in his tummy that made him VERY sick! So, this morning when I went into his room and pulled back the sheets and saw he had been sleeping with the RECENTLY used plunger, I screamed as if I had just pulled the sheets back on a dead body. The whole story came out that yesterday he took it from the bathroom to play "Mario" with EL. They were plunging each other's faces. And YES they licked it. Maybe you remember EL licking her headband that was all over the ER floor. She's sick now, too.

Needless to say, I was not feeling very loving towards my son today. But this afternoon I sat him down and decided to help him build a new lego robot thingy. These things are complicated. On the box it says 7-12 years old. I think that means you have to be between those ages. Any younger, any older and you are screwed. It took FOREVER!! But I got to see that smile he has when he would sit and build with Daddy. For that time he was calm and responsive and helpful! He was my precious 5 year old again and I loved it. For the past 2 hours I have heard him in his room going "pew pew pew"! That's his imaginary shooting noises. I once started to think this was Adam's original form of communication before Eve came along because B hardly ever just talks. It's always some grunting noises like that and M2 always understands them!

Here's some cool pictures of the new lego thingy (I have NO idea what it's called!).

It may not look hard to most of you but it was actually 47 pieces! And yes Scott if you read this, I know that must seem like a VERY small amount to you!

And here's the boy! He set this up and wanted Daddy to see. No worries though, all of the lego men made it out alive!

Today turned out to be pretty decent! Everyone seems to be on the mend and I think if we can keep the licking down to a minimum we might actually stay well!

Day 33 - Engageversary!

10 years ago today, this tall, lanky guy with a shaved head who was in the middle of airborne school asked me to marry him!

M2 is not a romantic! But on this occasion he did well! I was a freshman at Mississippi State University at the time. He called from Airborne school to tell me he was taking a pass for the weekend and driving up to see me. He was FRESH out of basic and just growing his hair back!

Here's some background! M2 and I had actually been "dating" for almost 2 years and had known each other for almost 5! The first time I met M2 we were competing against each other in a team triathlon. He was the last leg for his team and I was the last for mine, running up a KILLER hill to the finish line. My teammates had provided me with a decent start and then here comes along this long legged college kid zooming past me. I was furious. I didn't think he should have been able to compete because he was not even part of my school, but whatever they won. The worse part and what made me not able to stand him was that as I cleared the top of the hill and past the finish line there he was holding a "fakeraide" (Our school always had these fake gatorade drinks that I can not remember the name of and it is KILLING me! FC peeps help me out!) and he hands it to me and says something like, "You look like you could use one."! I felt like he was being a sore winner and rubbing it in! Now I know him and I know he can't pass up a chance at being nice. The poor guy. He was so nice that he has a long trail of girls who thought he liked them when in reality he was just being nice.

Years later we both worked a summer camp together and we would walk together in the mornings before breakfast. I was very young and insecure and never even imagined this guy would like me. But one morning, standing down by the back deck at camp, close to the chow bell, he asked me on a date. I said "yes" with the stipulation he ask my surrogate father, Mr. A. I was nervous from that moment on! Someone had just told me the day before that they thought M2 was madly in love with them?! (That was him being nice again getting in his way!) So, imagine my complete and utter shock when Mr. A asked him his intentions with me and he said without a pause, "To marry her". WHAT?! I said yes to a date I don't know what your talking about! My surrogate parents told me later he was a keeper and in my head I thought whatever - I just want to finally go on an unsupervised date! I was 17 and had yet to go on one! Of course M2 insisted it be a group thing because he's as smart as they come!

Obviously he was right because almost 2 years later he took me to that same spot on the grounds of that camp where he asked me on that date and (no not down on one knee) very slyly said, "A lot has changed since we were standing here last" (yes, the previous day a string of tornadoes had come through and destroyed the cabin I worked in and a lot of other things as well.) So, I agreed that lots had changed! That's when I turned to look at him instead of the devastation and saw the ring and heard "Will you be my wife?". It was perfect! (Well almost, he asked my friends to figure out my ring size and they had guessed it would be close enough to theirs - I have some of the chunkiest fingers out there so the size 6 took some forcing to get on ... i'm an 8!)

10 years later I would still say YES to that man! He has held my heart since the moment he told me I was going to be his wife - before we ever even went on a date! I would go through these deployments, the late hours, the moving, the years of crappy pay, the years of no pay while he was in school, the long training trips, the nights and weeks he would be gone in the field --- every bit of it I would do over again for him.

I love you, M2 and always will!

Day 32 - It's only funny because it's not funny!

Today was awful!

Seriously awful!

My son woke up this morning with, "Mommy my eyes are blurpy". Ok, I was not sure what "blurpy" meant. He does go to school and I am not up to date on all the cool new sayings so I asked, "what??"? To which I got, "You know, BLURPY, like when I wear EL's glasses". If he didn't have this awful rash also covering his eyes I would have demanded to know why he has been wearing his sisters glasses. But instead I headed over to the trusty google screen.

My son had this rash for while on his face. The first doctor said it was eczema. It got worse. We went to the ER and were told it was Scarlet Fever!! To my knowledge (which really isn't any) only people pre-1900 got Scarlet Fever! And they always die. In the books, that is. But, no, Scarlet Fever is just Strep. Which is weird because we had no other symptoms. So a penicillin shot later things were suppose to be grand! And with no fever(which he actually never had) and a full 12 hours after the injection we were no longer contagious. Cause lets face it - as a "single" parent all I care about is not being locked in my house with all these kids all day long!

Today roles around and we are still with rash that the doctor says can last months. MONTHS! He looks like a half his face is falling off!

Now we are back at the google screen. I googled "Scarlet Fever" and "Vision". Before I hit enter I am struck with a memory! Mary Ingalls had scarlet fever in the Little House in the Prairie books. And she went blind! I immediately call our clinic. No appointments available. Good news though - the throat culture they did in the ER came back and it's not Scarlet Fever after all. But the nice lady tells me how I need to rush him to the ER because vision changes are "emergent" and need to been seen ASAP!

I went to the ER where instead of getting marked as "emergent" we were marked as "non-urgent". We sat in that waiting room for 5 hours. Yes, FIVE! I think I could see the flu and strep and GI bugs floating around. If we didn't test positive before we might now :)!

When I thought that having 2 children under the age of 5 in a very small waiting room for 5 hours without lunch was a nightmare enough I actually saw the most nightmarish thing of all. My 3 year old take off her headband, drop it on the floor, it slides under several chairs, she gets down and gets it and then ... then ... SHE.LICKED.IT! She will now have everything that everyone had in that ER.

When we finally saw the doctor he didn't know anything. No, I am not being mean he actually said, "I don't know. Looks like Scarlet Fever but culture is negative. So, lets just hit him with some more antibiotics and if he loses his vision all together come back and see me."! Riiighhhhttt. Not going to happen. If he loses his vision I will drive to Louisville and tell my insurance it was lost right outside Kosair Childrens. Yes, I would lie. I am not perfect.

Needless to say, I left and had a meltdown on the phone with anyone who called during that first 30 minutes post-ER. Sorry to all of you!

I planned this awesome weekend in the Mississippi which is now not going to happen. I felt bad until my little sis called to tell me her kids had the flu! We wouldn't want to be around them anyway! My heart was put at peace with that news. It just wasn't meant to be. Some things aren't!

If you see my son in the upcoming weeks please don't scream! We have no idea what this thing on his face is and as of now it has been treated with 2 different antibiotics and cortisone. There's a good chance it will be around for awhile!

Day 31 - ONE MONTH DOWN!

Today is another worn down, so tired I can't think straight, day. I should feel lucky! I went 12 days this time in between complete fatigue fall out!

I woke up this morning already extremely tired since I am still having issues falling asleep. I thought these falling asleep problems would get better with time. But I have friends well into their second month who are still telling me they have a hard time getting to sleep at night :(! I might have to start incorporating a nap into my day!

M2 has been telling me I need to have the kids help more around the house so that I am not getting as bogged down with stuff to do and that would alleviate the fatigue.

I think he is right ... but this is how that looks in real life.

1. Allowing the 5 year old to have the "safe" scissors to cut his own work out resulted in hair everywhere and a now bald 5 year old.

2. Asking the 5 year old to help the youngest clean her room resulted in a broken lamp and broken CD player.

3. Asking the 5 year old to go dump the dust pan for mommy resulted in piles of dirt through out the newly swept house.

4. Asking the 5 year old to take his dirty clothes and put them in the washer resulted in a pull up also being misplaced in washer and getting washed. WHICH THEN resulted in tiny, squishy, diaper balls ALL.OVER.THE.CLOTHES!

5. All of the above resulted in Mommy being VERY tired and sending the 5 year old outside to play during chore time for now on!

Sometimes it's easier on us to just do it ourselves!

Hurray for ONE month down, though! That is something to be celebrated!!!

Day 29/30 - Valentine's Day!

Just a small glimpse of my awesome Valentine's Day!

First, I had some of this great chocolate goat cheese that my CSA gave out for V-day, for breakfast!

Then, M2 took me out to Cake Flour where he had a hard time choosing between the sweet or savory scones! They were so nice though to let him work behind the counter!

He chose the sweet blackberry!

And we all enjoyed some time together at the Cake Flour tables! Yes, it was WARM enough to enjoy our treats outside!

M2 was soo sweet and decided that I am not a girl to be bought with flowers that wilt and chocolate that will go to my hips, so he took me to the shoe store!

And bought me these awesome boots that I have been eyeing for well over 4 months!

Let's make this clear. I am not one of those girls who thinks Valentine's Day is all about me. I decided I would take him somewhere as well! We strolled on over to the Apple store. I wanted to show M2 how awesome it would be to have a desk job where he sat behind a computer not in a war zone (hint hint, m2)!

And these Apple employees thought he was the coolest! They are ready to help him get hired!

So, it was a wonderful Valentine's Day! To top all the fun off I came home to a Valentine's Day card in the mail. This is an amazing feat only made possible by God alone! It takes around 3 weeks to get mail. M2 mailed his card out to me last week. We both expected it would be later than V-day since I still have not gotten letters he mailed out from Kyrgystan almost a month ago! But there it was - that red envelope in MY mailbox posted "Free mail" proving it actually came from the A-stan! Amazing!

We love you M2! Thanks for being "here" today!

Day 28 - More in love

Deployments do have bonuses! Tonight I really felt like blogging about a super positive thing that occurs with deployments for most people!

You know the old saying, "Distance make the heart grow fonder"? This has always been very true for us during deployments. I feel more in love with M2 now that we are 7000 miles apart than I did a month ago when he was laying next to me. This same thing happened last deployment and the good thing is that it continued after he came home. What we built up while he was away lasted. I anticipate the same this time. Don't get me wrong - I love M2 whether he is here or there but for some reason after he has been gone about a month I start to remember all of the reasons I first loved him.

It's like new love all over! You know, the goosebumps when he calls, the smiling randomly just from thinking his name, the butterflies in your tummy right before the video chat connects, my pulse racing as I rip open the letter from the mailbox ... it's great!

There isn't a moment that M2 does not cross my mind in some capacity. And at the most random times I will think of what he would say if he were here and I smile. Sometimes those smiles catch me off guard and I find myself weeping over his absence. Yet, a good weeping. The kind that happens at weddings and births. The tears that come with the realization that you have never been more content than in that moment.

I am so very thankful of the man that God has given me. He is an awesome husband, father and friend. I am so proud of all he has accomplished and of the man that he is becoming. It is a weird feeling to be so physically distant yet so very much together. And I have no doubt that he will read this and feel exactly the same! That's the greatest feeling ~ knowing how much you are loved back!

M2 - I found the note in the pantry today that says, "Thoughts of you make my days better"! I cried so very much for you! Thoughts of you make my day better, too! Thank you for being who you are! You are truly an amazing man! I am blessed!

Something extremely special grows between M2 and I with separation. And while I would take him next to me over anything in the world. It is nice to know that something so great can grow out of this experience that is, for the most part, not so great.

Day 27 - Tribute to friends

Getting this done a little late - but hey it still counts!

Last night I got to go out and see a military wife comedian, Molly Gross, with a bunch of really great friends! It was a spectacular, child-free night!

I came home though feeling a little bummed because in almost half a year I will probably be leaving here and all of my awesome friends. That's sad. But I feel sad like this every time PCS gets close. I sat and thought about it though and I guess this is probably one of the BEST things I gain from this life - lots of friends!

Every post I make good friends and usually I stay in contact. Therefore I have friends ALL over the place.

Our first post, Fort Myer, VA, I made my first truly best military wife friend - Sunshine! I still keep in touch with her to this day. Also, Jen and Adele - I still get to keep in touch with them via FB. But when I left Fort Myer I remember feeling like I would not have those types of friendships ever again.

We were in limbo for several years and not near a post. But we still moved around and because of that I re-kindled a GREAT friendship with my all time bestest friend on the planet - Sarah Mae :) while we spent a short year in MS! And also I met a wonderful group of girls and a great church family in Oregon and I still consider New Hope my home. If it weren't for moving to Oregon for awhile - I would not have known how awesome of a wife my brother-in-law chose! Nor would I have known that M2's parents were as much mine as his now! I remember leaving Oregon in tears because I was SO sure I would never find that again.

Then we moved to Fort Benning. We found a great church in Columbus, Ga with a great pastor who helped me through some of my toughest times. Fort Benning was a hard place for me. I still made some great friends! Amber and Gail, who were my neighbors, still keep in contact. My son considers Georgia home because that is where he made his first really good friend, Kasey and Micah. We miss them lots! I felt lots of trepidation about moving from Benning as well, although not as much since everyone I knew ended up moving around the same time:)!

Then Fort Knox! Here I have truly been blessed. I cannot go anywhere on any given day and not see someone I know. There is something about each girl here that holds a special place in my heart. My first friend here and home-school cohort, Michelle! My awesome friend who inspired me in the gym for all those long winter months and still is the one person in my mind, although she probably doesn't know it, who I think of as responsible for the majority of my success this past year, Robyn! The girl I know I can talk to anytime of day or night and is always ready to listen, Sarah! My kindred spirit, Steph! Ayse, who is always encouraging! When I need a good laugh, Marissa and Princess! My PWOC sisters who keep me in check, WAY too many to list but you know who you are! The girls I get to see every time I go to the gym that keep encouraging me, Becky, Christie, Stephanie, Shannon! All the great girls in the HHC FRG! The SUPER nice girl whose name I don't know that is behind the counter at Cake Flour every week we go --- she makes my day with her smile. The awesome checkout lady I have every week at Whole Foods who also has a way of always making me leave happy! All the wonderful people at Grasshopper!

My list could go on and on because by far I have not mentioned everyone ... because there are so many good friends here that I will seriously miss when I leave - even if that is not for another year! BUT - my consolation is that they will always be my friends and just like every other time we leave a post/city and go somewhere new - I will make more great friends to add to this list!

p.s. Ah- I just wanted to note some awesome people I forgot because I am NOT as great of a friend as they are ;)! And since this was my "tribute to friends" I really feel that as many of those friends as I can think of need to be "tributed"! (um .. don't use "tributed" in public because I just made that up and it is actually not a word - or at least my Mac tells me it is not!) When I initially wrote this I kept feeling like there was someone I was not remembering - and then that someone texted me something and I was like, "AH - that's who!"! Hannah - I so miss you! Sometimes friends leave a post before I do and that is as sad as having to leave them behind. Hannah and her awesome husband have been great friends! Without them there would have been several times my kids would have been stuck at school since Mommy forgot them and Daddy didn't have a car so had to borrow the truck! And without them I would not have had as many bouts of baby fever this past year! Or someone to run with outside! Or someone to pick up my food in Louisville for me! Wow- typing all of this makes me realize how much you actually did! I am assured we will always be friends! And Rhonda ~ who also PCS'd - You brought back my sanity with always being so available! We SO miss you as well!

There you go! I think that officially covers it!

Day 26 - Rewind!

I threw a tantrum yesterday. Maybe I needed one. Who knows?

I wanted to write this post last night but I never sat down and had the chance. Yesterday was definitely the case of me in the boat, during the storm, not trusting.

I have been telling myself that when that phone rings (or computer in this case) that if it is bad news I will take a deep breathe and say, "It's going to all work out". Of course the opposite happened yesterday. M2 called and it took 12 minutes just to get the skype working right which meant we had 18 minutes left. By then I was very frustrated so when he said he had something to tell me I was not in the right mindset for that something to be negative. I overreacted.

Here's the story - I was keeping it under wraps for awhile in case things changed but today I realized I should go ahead and let people know so they can be in prayer for us and also to give outsiders a glance at how fast your life can change when serving in the military.

M2 submitted his file to go before a branch transfer board back in October after some encouragement from his leadership to do so. M2 is infantry and was trying to get picked up by civil affairs. It's a pretty cool job and the army teaches you a language. M2 really wanted the opportunity. We weren't sure of the chances but went for it anyways. Lots happened after that and most of the time we had placed the board in the back of our minds. On into January we started to feel like since we hadn't heard anything he probably didn't get it. Deployment was consuming our minds anyway. Literally the first working day after he deployed he got an acceptance email! We were thrilled! Also, we were concerned with the timing. As it turned out this job would take precedence over the one he is currently in and he would need to come back early to start the 2+ years of schooling that is involved. Since the moment we were told that I have been stressed out. Of course his current unit is using his assets and does not want to lose those and the "gaining" unit sees his potential and also does not want to lose him. The option to finish the deployment and then move over is not even there, finishing the deployment means giving this opportunity up. Civil Affairs needs the training to be started ASAP so that he does not fall behind those others that were chosen. Finally it seemed like a decision had been made and M2 would be returning in time to attend a June course. Relief.

Then yesterday M2 called to tell me that the post we were suppose to be moving to in June said no! The Army gets confusing sometimes. Our oldest has Aspergers. It dictates where we can and cannot move. It's frustrating. But the Army will not allow M2 to go to a post that they feel would not accommodate our child. We have no say. Of all the hoops we have had to jump through I did not see this one coming. I felt overwhelmed. So, like everyone knows - I threw a tantrum! M2 never faltered. I made some calls and he made some calls and within a few hours the problem was resolved! Even his branch manager was surprised we got it fixed. I had SO many people write me, FB me, text me yesterday telling me they were praying for us even though they didn't know what was going on. God heard!

So, as of today M2 will be home before the 365 day mark. We will be transitioning into a new, foreign to us, part of the Army. We are excited. I am skeptical. I know that information and dates will probably change. I have learned that much the past 10 years. Until he is here I will continue to blog :)!

I would love to say that I learned something about trusting and that the next go round I will be calm and collective and leave it in God's hands .... but I know myself! Yet, I am still trying!

Day 25 - blah

I decided to blog early today because I just want to get this day over with.

M2 finally borrowed a webcam and skyped where I could see him. I am not super thrilled with his timing though because he picked the time he needed to deliver some bad news to be the only time I have gotten to see him. Not a pleasant experience.

I still love you even with your bad timing :).

So, today is going down as one of the worst days so far. Sorry to be so negative. But it is what it is and I want to sit here and throw a tantrum. So that is exactly what I am going to do!

I usually keep very positive in public about the Army. It's like talking bad about family - even if you can't stand them it's still wrong! In lieu of that all I have to say is please get your act together!

Day 26 best be better!