I have been so incredibly stressed lately. It's not like I have any reason to be, right?! Everything came to the front this afternoon and I completely fell apart. I cried. I screamed in my pillow. I threw something (not glamorous I know!). Then I fell asleep for about 30 minutes. When I woke up I felt recharged. I think the falling apart is exactly what I needed.
When M2 is home I do not hold ANYTHING in! If I am angry, sad, happy, I let it all out to him. I am pretty sure he is the only person I can do that with. It's great when he's here because he and I don't have things that stew between us for weeks. When he is not here it's not so good since all my feelings, happy, sad, whatever they are - are held inside. So, a good falling apart is sometimes needed to get all that out and start over.
I feel exhausted emotionally now but I feel SO much better! I don't even feel bad for throwing something ;)! Next deployment I am clearing out a room and buying some cheap china and when I need a release I will just go in and break some - then I will therapeutically piece broken pieces together to form some piece of art. I have always wanted to do that! It's destructive YET constructive!
I hope all my other deployment spouses have ways to sometimes just reset themselves. It's so easy to get stuck in that whirlwind of funk!
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