Day 2 "The F word"

I am definitely experiencing the "funk". I am not talking about the funk like haven't showered in days funk (although that one is also fitting :o). I am talking about that blue feeling, no motivation, don't want to participate, type of funk. You may not know what that is - but if you are the spouse of a deployed soldier - I'd guess you have already had a dose of the funk. It creeped in this morning as I was awoken by my eldest at 5 am to be informed that the middle kid had stolen a toy from his friends house. REALLY!! I mean - was it a weapon, is someone in harm's way, was it a priceless heirloom. WHAT would make you feel the need to come tell me at 5 am that this occurred. Of course that was only the reaction in my head. My actual reaction was more like, "Ok - go tell "B" to bring it to me". Then a long explanation to "B" why it was wrong to steal. I could feel my brain trying to shut down on me. I felt weary and instantly canceled any plans I had for the day.

I had a dear friend tell me that it is completely okay to be in a funk. That those days will come and go and come and go. Taking advantage of the non-funk moments are vital and not allowing the funk to last for weeks is also important. She ended with a sort of promise that if the funk lasted for a week or so she would say, "No - you ARE getting out of the house". Now my mind is at ease. I started to feel like I may just stay in my house for the entire year. The kids ride the bus and I could always internet order my food :)! M2 would come home to my mummified remains!! Glad to know that is not going to be the case! I love you dear friend!

The good thing about taking these first few days slow is the time I get to spend with the kids. They have a lot of questions about Daddy right now and I think it's important to have time to talk. Our family seems to always be on the go. We live very fast paced lives. When school starts back tomorrow - life will start moving fast and these questions may go unasked. I finally got around to showing "B" on a map where Daddy was currently located and then where that was in reference to Afghanistan. It was a color coded map and he asked me, "so, when daddy gets into the orange box (Afghanistan) then the war will start?". I chuckled and told him the war already started. He gasped and screamed, "THE WAR STARTED WITHOUT DADDY?". Funny how we fail to realize that children's minds are simple and in need of guidance. I sat with him for a long time and told him about exactly what Daddy was going to do. He seemed at peace when we were done.

One of the dearest moments in my day was listening to my sweet eldest pray at lunch. She said, "and please God protect him on this journey". I still don't know where she heard the term journey in relation to Daddy. But I found it very fitting. It is a journey in the physical sense and also a journey mentally and spiritually ~ not just for Daddy but for the rest of our family as well. Even in the midst of my funk filled day - I am excited at where this journey may lead us.

In case you didn't catch on - the "F" word was funk! Nothing more ...