Butterflies ...

For the past 8 years now, M2 and I have barely spent a moment truly alone. As soon as we had E he moved roughly 7500 miles away! Talk about cold feet regarding parenthood ;)!

Ever since that child was born I have had a difficult time spending more than a night away. As soon as he returned from that first deployment we decided to move across country. E was turning a year and we thought it best for her to fly out to Oregon with her Nana while we did the long move out there with a Uhaul. After the long separation we were ecstatic to be able to spend a week on the road together! Then came that first night in the hotel room, alone, with no E. I PANICKED! The next day was harder, looking back I am amazed at my insanity, we, mainly me, decided that a week long trip with romantic stops was not necessary after all and we should just book it on over there and collect my child! Not that I did not trust she'd be fine - I actually missed her. Crazy, I know!

Luckily, we lived the next 3 years close to Nana and Gramps and we had the occasional "night out" and one weekend alone on the Oregon coast that resulted in B! I had the hardest time leaving B. He would not drink from a bottle which meant I had to be available at least once every 4 hours. He was well over one the first time I left him for a weekend. We went back over to the Oregon coast to have a "babymoon" since we were expecting EL's appearance soon. It was nice and relaxing but FULL of anxiety about B spending 2 days without me. Haha - 2 days!

Looking back on our 3 years in Oregon so close to so many friends and family, M2 and I laugh that we should have known better and taken more time together - alone. Once we moved from there - we've been moving constantly. Finding someone to babysit has been hard. There were a few times we got lucky over the past 4 years and found someone to keep them all 3 for a night. But I can count those times on one hand.

So this year we decided that we would take a weekend away somewhere in celebration of the 10 years we have spent married. The perfect opportunity came up when M2 was told he would be going on a staff ride to New Orleans and was allowed to take his spouse! Not only are we going to get a weekend together but someone else planned it! If you know us, you know this is what it takes for us to do anything - someone else to plan it! Thankfully, M2's aunt and my sister agreed to tag- team for the weekend and take care of the kiddos. I will forever be grateful!

I am ECSTATIC!!

Tomorrow starts our "mini" vacation! I am resolved to not ask M2 ONE time what he thinks the kids are doing, how they are feeling, can he please call and find out?, or anything child related! What I AM going to do is spend 4 days remembering who M2 is as a husband not just a father. Nourishing a relationship that hasn't had a chance to relax in quite awhile. And to find a moment in there where I feel butterflies in my stomach once again from just holding his hand .... people it's possible even after 10 years - I promise!